God did not invent sex just to give people a pleasant, tingling sensation. His primary intention was to illustrate the intimate, joyful union that exists spiritually between Jesus Christ and you (1 Corinthians 6:17). God created you with the capacity for sexual passion so that you could comprehend Christís passion for you. Your physical attraction to someone on earth represents Jesusí excitement toward you. Sexual passion is a picture of His desire. Look at how He describes you as His bride:
Then the King will desire your beauty.... The Kingís daughter is all glorious within; Her clothing is inter woven with gold. She will be led to the King in embroidered work (Psalm 45:11-14).
You have ravished my heart, my treasure, my bride. I am overcome by one glance of your eyes, by a single bead of your necklace. How sweet is your love, my treasure, my bride! How much better it is than wine! Your perfume is more fragrant than the richest of spices. Your lips, my bride, are as sweet as honey. Yes, honey and cream are under your tongue (Song of Solomon 4:9-11 NLT).
These verses show that Jesus loves you more than just as a friend. You captivate Him. Furthermore, you experience a taste of His intimate love if you share sexual delight with someone in a marriage relationship. The joy that a husband and wife express for each other portrays the delight and satisfaction that Christ feels about you. Jesus will even work through the physical touch of another person to get His point across to you. For example, I have a good friend, Joe, who once told me that sometimes when his wife, Angela, hugs him, he can sense Christ say, Joe, you may feel Angela hugging you right now, but actually it is Me hugging you through her. I am so glad that you belong to Me, and I love you.
Donít let this idea sound weird to you. Christís passion for you is not some strange sexual-spiritual kind of love. Rather, Jesus feels an intense devotion and joy in His relationship with you. He thinks youíre cool. He thinks youíre beautiful. He thinks youíre special. This idea may be hard to grasp, but Jesus is more delighted with you than an earthly husband is with his wife. Thatís why God created sex for marriageóto give you insight into the amazing pleasure that Christ feels in His union with you. Therefore, sex should always be respected as a divine gift.
God has a second purpose for sex: to produce total intimacy in marriage. Two spouses cannot experience oneness unless they share in sexual intercourse. Sex invites a husband and wife to accept each other naked, unashamed, and uninhibited. It offers an environment in which they are free to be themselves and joyfully bond in the most meaningful way possible. Our hearts crave this kind of intimacy, and sex in marriage is one of Godís instruments to meet that need.
Dating serves as the spark to motivate two people to pursue the path toward marriage. As a single man and woman captivate each other, they want to begin a relationship. Their sex drives propel them to discover more about one another. Then, when they encounter the initial difficulties of communication and friendship, their sexual interest can encourage them to keep working through the problems. Thus, sexual attraction is an important aspect of dating relationships. Without it, singling out one person for intimacy would be boring and lifeless.
For most couples, a physical desire occurs when they initially meet. For a few, the attraction evolves over time. Regardless of when it happens, a mutual sexual attraction needs to develop eventually, or a dating couple will not enjoy intimacy in a marriage. Romance is an essential part of oneness, and a marriage devoid of physical closeness is a miserable experience.
Therefore, guys, donít believe the lie that Christian men are supposed to marry pious, unattractive women. That doesnít fit within the context of how Jesus loves you as His bride. You exhilarate Christ, so He wants you to be thrilled about the woman you choose to marry. He wants her unique beauty to satisfy you completely (Proverbs 5:18-19). Thus, if you have not met a Christian woman who possesses integrity and sexually attracts you, keep looking. Do not settle for anyone just to get married.
Likewise, ladies, treasure your beauty, femininity, and purity. To Jesus, you were worth His sacrifice, and He wants you to find a husband who will treat you in the same way. A man is not worth marrying if he will not cherish you and give himself up for you.
So avoid the losers who simply want to use your body for sex. Wait to marry a man who is so wild about you that he is willing to restrain his desires and offer you a lifetime commitment.
Taken from Dating With Pure Passion by Rob Eagar. Copyright 2002. Published by Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, OR. Used by Permission.
About The Author:
Rob Eagar is a gifted writer and speaker who has helped thousands of singles, young adults, and students build passionate relationships. His message has been featured on the CBS Early Show, on CNN Radio, and in the Los Angeles Times. He gives over 100 presentations a year at churches including Saddleback Church and Willow Creek Community Church. Rob resides with his wife, Ashley, in Atlanta, Georgia.
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