Hi, Iím Jessica, and this is My World.
I didnít grow up in an ideal Christian home. My parents got divorced when I was 7 years old. My father moved to Canada and I stayed with my mom, who moved to Switzerland to live with her boyfriend. In the beginning, her boyfriend was nice, but soon we found out that he was an alcoholic and he beat my mom at night.
I can still recall how I would wake up at night and hear my mom cry. It was very hard for me to handle this situation since I couldnít talk about it to anyone. I fell into depression at the age of 8.
A couple of years later, my mom finally moved out, but soon her new boyfriend moved in with us. When things became complicated, she tried to commit suicide. Her suicide attempt made me think. Because I too wanted to end my own pain.
When I was 13 I moved to Canada and I thought that I could escape my misery. But everything got worse. I had many friends who a had a bad influence on me. Even though they accepted me I still felt very empty. Soon I realized that there was only one way to end the pain and sorrow in my life. So one evening, when I was alone in my room, I tried to kill myself.
By the grace of God I didnít succeed. I started going to a youth group because my dad thought that it would have a good influence on me. Besides, the guys in the youth group were really handsome. One day an evangelist came to our church and the whole youth group went to the service. At the end of the service he called those suffering from depression to come forward. I remember how desperate I was. I was afraid of myself. I had no purpose in life and I just wanted to get out of my situation. When I came to the front, the pastor prayed for me and the power of the Lord came upon me. A lady came up to me and explained what was happening. And on that day, I accepted God into my life. Since then, my life has changed completely.
Iíve known the Lord for 7 years and to be honest, there are still times when I feel low. But since I have a relationship with God, desperation doesnít consume me anymore. What used to be total depression has now become peace. Since then, I have hope no matter how I feel. I have learnt that I can decide to put my trust in God on a daily basis and to follow His plans. And this give me incredible joy!