Hey, I ‘m Kurt and this is My World.
Growing up, most of my memories of anything to do with church or God, was duty, obligation or just boredom. Though I grew up around the things of God, I never really touched the reality of who God is.
In high school, I had a tough time fitting in, so I started smoking, drinking, having sex and living the party lifestyle with everyone else. I lived for the weekend, the next high, the next lay, the next party. By the end of high school, constant drug use and living to please myself, was what my life revolved around.
Drugs became my security. I felt insecure in myself and where my life was going. A lot of people think that drug abuse begins with just a raw addiction, but the truth is that drugs are a way to hide the real person and kill the pain of living without a purpose.
I had a couple scares with drug overdoses, but I always seemed to rally and go further than the last time. I lost my best friend to drugs when I was eighteen, but instead of waking me up, it sent me deeper into depression and more experimentation.
By the end, “meth” was my drug of choice. My friends and I would spend days not sleeping, snorting and smoking meth. I can remember many times coming down from being high, and a profound sense of emptiness coming over me. It was always there but when I was high, I could escape life as it really was. I didn’t want to face the aching in my heart.
One night I took way too many drugs, and I was having a bad acid trip. I had been up for days. I can remember sitting alone in a parking lot, in my car. I felt like I was loosing my mind. I talked to God. Actually, I cried. I prayed, “Help, I need help, I need you. Jesus, I make you the Lord of my life, if you’ll take me, I’ll live for you with everything that I have.”. It was the first time that I had really talked to God. I mean, really talked to God from my guts. He heard me, and for the first time, I saw God as Father and experienced Him as a deliverer.
Even though God instantly delivered me from addiction that night, I still had to walk it out. I knew my whole life had to change and I sought out a friend who was completely sold out for the Lord. He became my mentor and helped me understand what it meant to truly be a Christian. I started to prayer, fast and study the Bible, which made me stronger so that I wouldn’t fall back into my old lifestyle.
The last few years have been a healing, changing and growing time. All of my priorities have changed. God has healed my wounds and has brought me to a place where I can now help disciple other people. My goal is to live my life in such a way that when I stand before the Lord, He will be proud of what I have done.