Hope Question - Should You Kiss Before Marriage? Return to previous page

Q: I'm a teenager and I know what God says about sex before marriage. My question is -- what about kissing? Doesn't kissing lead to impure thoughts? What do you believe God has to say about kissing before marriage? -- Emily

A: I've seen both sides taken within the Christian church. A wonderful church that I attended and was a member of in Manila believed very strongly that your first kiss should happen at the altar. Now, that wouldn't be me. I don't think I could do that. And I was pretty open with them that that wasn't me. And that wasn't the way I approached marriage.

The Bible says, whatsoever is not of faith is sin. So, Emily, you need to get honest with yourself. And if you can do that (kissing) in faith and believe that it will not go farther, then by all means do. But if you in your own heart, have reservations about it and say I can't do that in faith, I'm going to start having impure thoughts, then my body is going to start kicking in and desire something more than just a kiss, then I think you need to say ok I'm going to build a wall here and I'm going to make it known that kissing is not acceptable for me.

That was the basis of the church I went to in Manila saying look we don't want to encourage that kind of activity unless we know that there is going to be a lifelong bond. Part of kissing is also sharing, sharing of your innermost being. And you may not want to do that unless you are sure that this person is going to be with you for a lifetime.